what I really think about children

People ask me all the time if I get the baby question a lot. I don't honestly. Not too many people ask me, "so, are you two thinking about having children anytime soon?" I don't go to baby showers and get a lot of, "who's next? Is it you, Tara?" I just don't hear it too often. Maybe mostly people are thoughtful and don't want to pry. But, I have quite a few married friends who say that they get that question, enough- maybe not a lot, but enough. I wonder if it's because I emanate this anti-baby vibe. Or maybe they have overheard me as I have answered another person by saying something like, "children? oh, no no, we don't want those things." Maybe. Maybe it is because I am too young for my own good. Whatever it is, I don't get the baby question a lot.

If I do hold conversation with people about rearing children it always ends with something like, "yes, we do want kids, someday"... but that is not my first, most eager, response. I usually cringe a little inside, visions of pregnancy discomfort flow through my head and the idea of being the sole entertainment for an infant, or any stage of life pre 5 years old, terrifies me.

There are a lot of really beautiful babies and pregnant women in my life right now. The first year (into the second year) of our marriage we attended upwards of 10 weddings, I think I even blogged about it. This year, I am closing in on that number with baby showers. I have had the opportunity to hold and love many of these dear babies my dear friends have birthed. But, I never get that itch. You know, that, I wonder what it would be like to have one of these of my own, itch. That's not really me. I love these babies and maybe even get the itch to hold them, but not to have my own.

With that said, make no mistake. I adore children. Love them, respect them, desire wonderful things for them, pray for them, laugh at them and with them, love 'em. I mean it. I really do. And I have a lot of really great babies, and children, in my life that I can love. And I am thankful for this. Not to mention, I work at a place where one of our main goals and desires is to love children. To respect them, desire wonderful things for them, pray for them and laugh at and with them. I work at that place. It's called Camp love.respect.hope.pray.laugh with children. And it's the best.

I will never forget one of my first summers working with children- a much wiser, funnier and stronger friend of mine challenged me with something that I still remind myself of today. When Jesus interacts with children in the Bible he just, lets, them, come. In Matthew 19:14, we learn this: "Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” I don't know exactly what the children did when they finally got to come up to Jesus. I don't know if he sat them down and taught them the most important lesson they would ever hear. But I can imagine that they sat on him, asked him questions, pulled at his beard, told him he was so tall and maybe that his robe was a nice color. But the children just, came, to be with Jesus. He loved them.

He loved them. Sometimes it's hard for me- I want to carry on an adult conversation with a 6 year old to get to know them. They just want to sit next to me and read the same Max & Ruby book over and over. We have to find a happy medium. That's not true, I just give in and realize the best situation is reading the book and I can't give away the predictable ending like I want to- the clouds keep coming and his shadow disappears, doesn't he get that?!

Despite the look on my face when asked about having kids, (which is usually one that portrays something that looks like I just finished eating a basket of lemons), or the lack of questioning because I seem to be the least likely to mother... I do love children. Of all ages. I think they are so precious, so curious and so giving. And theirs, is the kingdom of heaven.