on why I need a hobby

I like clean things. I feel chaotic and stressed by a sink full of dishes or spots on the countertop. I like a nice vacuumed floor, a shiny stainless steel trash can, a dust free (and pollen free, for crying out loud) surface, papers in their place, and if I am being really honest- clean dishes and an empty dishwasher or clean clothes and and empty hamper are my favorite times of day. In college I would sometimes clean certain things, like the bed linens, of my roommate who shall remain nameless. I just like it. It really doesn't bother me to clean because there is something therapeutic about it and when you are done, the cleanliness is like bliss. In my adult life (didn't matter so much as a kid) I have become a big fan of the idea that if you clean as you go, or put things away the first time, you won't have a big pile of things or a big mess to deal with later (actually, this isn't really an idea, it's true!).

I also can't stand clutter- which is probably mainly because I haven't lived on my own in the largest of spaces. In college it would make me crazy if one thing was out of place because in the tininess of one room shared by two people, the littlest thing could make it seem messy. Even now, while our house is the perfect size for us, it is rather quaint and again things out of place make me feel slightly stressed because the space is small to begin with.

My aunt has always warned me of such a life. I grew up in a clean home but it is safe to say that there was no problem with the kitchen table being the "catch all". My aunt would always clean, and clean well, but all the while not concerned if someone came over and there was a dust bunny in the corner. Normal. I am not normal. I am like some of my other dear friends, but I am not normal. And I don't know how I got this way. Carolyn tried to kindly warn me, "okay, but you can't let cleaning worry you too much... it can't be an obsession... just don't go overboard..."

Something new entered my life about two months ago, and I have to get rid of it. About two months ago I asked my mother-in-law if I could borrow her Bissell "little green", a hand held spot cleaner for carpets and upholstery. There was this pesky spot on the driver's seat in our little car and I wanted to get it out. My MiL (mother-in-law) then told me that it hadn't been working great lately and I should take her bigger Bissell which included a hand-held attachment I could use on the seat.

And then it began.

In the past two months we have cleaned the car, all of the seats, I have done the couches (which have couch covers), and I have done the floors three, yes 3, times. In two months! Why? I have no explanation.

I need to give the thing back. For a lot of reasons, one being it's not mine, and I have really "out-stayed my welcome" and also I've gotta let go. The carpet is fine.

Time to let go. It can't become an obsession. I can't go overboard...