on why i'm selfish (well, a few reasons anyway)

Like you I'm sure, my heart has been heavy for Haiti. Perhaps unlike you, however, I allowed my self to wince at the horrible tradgedy and fired off a prayer, and then, went about my days. Yesterday I popped an english muffin into the toaster and caught a glance of Ismaelle's picture on the fridge. She is the little girl we sponser and she lives in Haiti. Haiti!?!?! Suddenly I felt like dropping to my knees in prayer for her sweet life and so many others in Haiti. Then my prayer changed its direction to repentance. I felt a greater sense of care-- not because I learned more about the devastation or because I heard for the first time a tragic story-- just because I had a connection and suddenly remembered they need prayer. More prayer. They needed it before I remembered Ismaelle. I will say, as of now, there is no report that Ismaelle was injured by the earthquake. And I am thankful. But I know there are so, so many families that have lost lives or are still fighting for them.

I got irritated with my husband. Why? Because he was trying to be helpful. But he wasn't fixing my issue by making it disappear, so he was irritating. I was finishing up a project- one that was given to me over a month ago- and feeling discouraged about finishing it. At first I was shocked and appauled at myself for leaving some of it to do last-minute. Until, the girl with whom I shared a bunk for two years in college reminded me, that is how I roll. Always. Last minute. Anyway, Ben would offer his two cents and my selfishness made me (yes, made me. I had no control over it) be kind of mean to the hubs. Maybe not mean, maybe just "I'm going to shoot you a look that says, you're wrong and I'm right, no matter what we are talking about."

I watched Rachael Ray today- I don't watch it too often anymore (since her time slot got pushed back and hour, especially). I love her, as you probably know, and I am not afraid to admit it. There was a time, however, that I loved her, as she was the only woman in my life teaching me how to be domestic in my first months of marriage. I went to the RR show in New York two years ago and it was magical. Albeit magical, our taping mostly showcased crock-pots and our parting gifts included redken hair products. While I enjoyed using the shampoo, I did hope a tiny bit for a kitchen gadget. On today's show there were celebrities and there were bigger give-aways (make-up stuff, a DVD, kitchen stuff...). And it so does not matter. But, because I am selfish I thought, man, I totally got the shaft on the free give-aways! Ugh, so ridiculous that I even cared about that, for even a minute!

Oh, and then there was this earthquake in Haiti. But I didn't get a free food processor.


Why didn't the lobster share his toys?
Because he was too Shellfish.