So, my grandma died.
My dad just called me to tell me "well, the old lady died this morning". It took me a minute to put it all together in my head... what old woman? it's weird my dad is calling me after 9pm... So I had to actually ask him, Who?, My grandma, your mother, Philomena Carrera Sullivan? My dad is totally estranged from most of his family, which is why this was hard for me to figure out.
We weren't very close, because well, it's my dad's mom and she lived most of her life in Arizona. It is weird though that she is gone because, we were close at one time, kind of. After my mom died she came to live with my dad for a while... and I am not sure who really took care of who. Anyway, she helped my dad with me a few days a week.
And I remember a few things from the time I lived with her. She made pasta, always (Italian women do it best). I think that is the exact reason that every night I think "I want pasta", before I actually then decide on a dinner other than starchy noodles (for Ben's sake). I remember when she would pick me up from school, we would sometimes go to this little ice cream shop and sit together in silence eating our ice cream. She would always order Butter Pecan, and I always thought, how terribly bland and un-chocolate of her. I remember that she had this ginormous philodendron plant that hung down our stairwell and she had those little clip-on stuffed animals adorning all ten feet of it. Also, she really liked cardinals and wore them proudly on sweatshirts a lot.
I don't really know any of my dad's, like, 20 siblings (okay I think it is only maybe 4 or 5), so I don't think I will hear much more about a service or anything for her. And that is really okay, I am just sitting here kind of reflecting-- my dad didn't have too much to say, it was just more for the facts, and the fact is, Philomena lived her life and I was just a small part of it.
But I love pasta and Butter Pecan ice cream a little bit more because of her.
5 comments:
Of course, I never met her but I'm sure your well written tribute would do her proud. And I wouldn't count on your being a SMALL part of her life...you have more impact than you think. Thank you for sharing your reflections...Meg
I especially liked the part about sitting in silence. That about sums up my relationship with my grandmother too! She can't get off the phone quick enough. She hardly talks but boy can she yell.
And THIS post is why you should write a book. Beautiful writing!
Oh Tara...
My Tara, I just wanted to write that first, and then tell you I am sorry that your grandma died. I have fond memories of Philamena too. She loved Pizza Hut pizza, and sometimes when I was not working, she would take me to Pizza Hut for lunch. We would talk, mostly about you, but also about her estranged family. It was sad that she didn't talk to her sister, or even some of her children. Oh, Tara that philodendron is still in my house with most of those little clip on animals still clipped on. Love, Carolyn
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