i'm dreaming of...

see you next week!

treasures untold

As you know, I clean here at camp. It's what I do. I do a few other things as well- but from August to May, mainly I clean. This year I have a beautiful and intelligent partner who makes the time 3,000x more enjoyable. Some days I am cleaning human poo off of a wall and it doesn't even phase me because my cleaning buddy and I are having a riveting conversation. The fact is, I love the company and cleaning even the dirtiest room is suddenly hysterical and lovely because of her presence.

Most days we don't find too much other than toothpaste in the sink-- from building to building we go through our routine. But, every now and again we find things... sometimes amazing and perplexing things. I often think, "I could write a book about this stuff... something like 'The treasures of two housekeeping girls'". But, instead, I figured it's time I grace you all with the list. You may not care, and that is okay, but I guess it is my blog after all and you are willing to read it... so, with that said, here is a list of things we have found just lying around when cleaning up after retreat groups. (Be warned, some of this is not for the faint of stomach.)

- Shoes, clothes, socks

- A journal

- A diaper

- Glow-in-the dark Rosary

- Broken glass

- Blood

- A small felt doll somewhat resembling a voo-doo doll

- Plastic bugs

- A tiny screwdriver

- Wrapped candy (tempting)

- Unwrapped candy (not as tempting)

- Martian Child, the DVD

- Mulch

- A ruler with pictures and names of the US Presidents

- 1 Liter of Redken conditioner

- Multiple bars of hairy soap

- A basketball

- Dice

- Lyrics of a Red Hot Chili Peppers song

- Yoga mat (after a Men's group, no less)

- Five dollars

again, I realize this list is pointless... but sometimes I find myself thinking, "man, I really ought to write this stuff down"...

going paperless

My husband has this thing with getting statements in the mail. Bank, credit card, cell phone, car insurance... you name it, we get a five page statement via the pony express. I have asked on more than one occasion if I can please choose the paperless option and get our statements through email instead. This will reduce the number of trees our little family personally destroys to have things printed on and will vastly help to de-clutter. He says no, he likes to have, in his hands, the actual real paperwork to keep on file.

Fine. That is fine. I am okay with this because, let's be real, he has a greater hand in paying those bills than I do.

Then... it occurred to me...

He never actually looks at them... they never make it to his hands!

I receive them in the mail each month and file them in this little box for him to peruse through at his leisure.

Then, the month comes and goes and I file them in the appropriate folder in our already too stuffed filing cabinet.

And he never looks at them! Once I came to this realization and shared it with Ben he said... "yea good point, we really should just do paperless".

Finally! Freedom! Less clutter! I win!

And now. I am too nervous. I have finally been given the go-ahead and I am nervous that somehow, if we receive these statements only through email we will be some cyber-space creepster's next victims of identity theft. What little we have will be stripped from us while we go about our day as seemingly normal people. Our identity, stolen right out from under us. Not only will our accounts be wiped out, but we will be indebted to some casino in Reno and "own" a Lamborghini we can't pay for. Then when we try to get back on our feet, our social security numbers will be marked as un-hire-able and our reputations will be smeared. We will inevitably be forced to change our identity and move to a country half way around the world never to see our family and friends again.

All because I wanted to de-clutter that ridiculous file cabinet.

What do you think?

erin go bragh!

Happy St. Patty's Day to you all! I like to take a little ownership of my heritage on this day. It is the only day of the year that I think "hey, I am Irish!" I could wear all those kitchy-tees that say things about being Irish.

It's the one day of the year that I like to think I was actually named after the Kings' residence in Ireland instead of a southern plantation in Gone With the Wind.

It is the one day of the year that my maiden name seems cool instead of just the name I shared with half of the people I rode the bus with in high school (none of whom I was related to). I would get asked all the time growing up-- "oh are you related to so and so Sullivan?" or, "Can we call you Sully?" No, no, and no.

But on St. Patrick's Day I like to remember that Sullivan is supposedly the third most popular name in Ireland today- hooray for surviving the potato famine.

Today is also the only day of the year that I allow myself the liberty of wearing bright orange and green together and baking a loaf of green bread (it's true, we did that).

So, Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! Embrace your inner leprechaun.

derek webb & jennifer knapp

Last week Ben bought tickets for me to see Derek Webb and Jennifer Knapp in concert. And it was awesome. I mean, to be fair, I love a good live concert featuring umm, anyone. That doesn't mean I necessarily listen to their CD in the car... but for the most part, I am a sucker for some good live music. But I like these two. A lot.

Derek Webb truly was fantastic to listen to. I think his guitar-playing skills are fairly wonderful and his lyrics often cause me to stop and think-- I mean really think about what he is saying. I don't know-- it's Derek Webb. You either love him or he greatly offends you.

And then, there is Jennifer Knapp. Who even is that? Well, Jennifer Knapp broke in to the Christian music scene years ago with her slightly controversial music featuring songs that refer to "skin-art junkies" and crazy things like that. And I guess some people thrived on her chick-rock.

For me, I discovered her in high school. There came a time in my life when I felt it was time to put the Tool album down (I know, it's more embarrassing for me to say than it is for you to read) and I needed to discover some more wholesome tunes, needless to say. I would often go into the Christian Bookstore and just choose an artist based on the album cover. I need not tell you, I picked some real doozies. But one day I saw this album cover and felt like this girl had something to say.

And I think, she did. Her lyrics were overtly Christian-y and yet thoughtful and, well, my favorite- folky. I loved it. I loved it so much it skips like crazy now. A year or so later I got to see her in concert and stood watching her, star struck. I thought she was so cool. The coolest. And then I bought all of her other CDs including her last album with essentially a "farewell" letter to her fans. She dropped off the face of the earth. (I later learned she spentmost of her time in the Australian Outback, so she really kind of did fall of the face of the earth). Some said she didn't love God anymore, some said she was someone's baby mama... you know, those Christian rumor mills of "pray for Jennifer Knapp... she is struggling with so and so and such and such".

And then, Ben (of all people) told me she was back. I had stopped searching, I figured her music career was just over, and besides, since then my music collection had grown. But, she came back. And Ben bought us tickets to see her in concert.

I loved it. I loved hearing her play her old songs. I loved hearing her new stuff. In my opinion (which isn't much) it was perfect.

She talked about her 5 year hiatus. She talked about how she didn't pick up her guitar once, or, feel the need to write a song. She said that she felt her faith was tied so strongly to this guitar that she wasn't sure if she stopped playing it, maybe she was not a Christian anymore. Her guitar, the "machine" as she called it, defined her. And she was not sure she could ever return to it again. And then, for whatever reason, she felt like it was time to write again. She felt like she could write whatever she wanted and God could still be seen through her work-- even if His name wasn't in the songs titles. Anyway, I thought it was a beautiful story. I thought about that in my own life. I am not a musician or an artist in anyway, but I can imagine feeling so tied to something that I let it define me.

And then, my friend Drea (who now has a baby!) and I stuck around feeling hopeful about maybe meeting her. Derek Webb just wanted to catch his cab, but was still a nice guy- but Jennifer Knapp talked for a bit with the 12 of us that stuck around being mildly creepy fans that we were. And then, she took a photo with us.

So, that was that time I met Jennifer Knapp- I think I am glad that I blindly picked up her CD 9 years ago.

college experience(s)

My college experience didn't turn out exactly how I had imagined it would. I guess I thought I would go to one school for four years, become active in resident hall activities and barely spend my weekends back home. I thought I would go in to youth ministry, whatever that might look like, and gain the knowledge and tools to study the Bible more effectively. For a while when I was young I knew I would go to Liberty University because some of the great women in my life went there. And then, I knew I would go to LaGrange College in Georgia because another really great woman went there and so that is where I'd go. And then I thought I needed to go somewhere in a big city- like U Penn or something like that to really get the true college experience.

Then, I met this guy in high school- we dated, and then broke up, because the stress of going into college as a high school couple became too intense. Then, we got back together and completely coincidentally decided to go to the same college (yea right, totally of our own volition).

We both chose Eastern University right outside of Philadelphia, Pa. It was pretty. Really pretty. And seemed college-y enough and yet quaint and small town enough to suit our needs.

I even tried a cheesesteak in the city because it seemed like the right thing to do. I didn't love it, and the cheesesteak-making men are kind of scary.

And then I looked at projected loan repayment and cried. I decided I didn't want to do youth ministry anymore (as a major anyway) because I wanted something that led me down a more definite and promising path (and then 4 years later graduated with a degree in conflict resolution, so there was obviously a disconnect there with a choosing a more "pointed" major...) Anyway, I just couldn't bear the thought of staying at Eastern and paying all that money.

I secretly also felt that the only thing that would save my relationship with my high-school-sweetheart was a little distance between us.

So I went home for Christmas break and never returned.

I enrolled in the local community college and immediately felt I had un-graduated. I went to school from 8 to 3 then went home and had classes with what seemed like half of my high school graduating class. I wasn't involved in any campus "activities" and my resident hall-mates were my aunt and uncle. I absolutely learned that community college is not a walk in the park but I did make the Dean's list more than once. I also paid like one-eighteenth in tuition costs compared to Eastern. But, I missed Eastern, so much.

Eventually I exhausted all that the community college had to offer and had to pick a new spot. I knew I could only afford so much. It was between two state schools and I based my decision solely on the advice of my high school friend. She said she liked it at Salisbury and her campus apartment might even possibly have a spot for me to move in. The other 6 roommates graciously accepted this idea and I loved the idea of going to school with Kaley. So, without ever having seen the campus, and thankful that my time at the community college made it so that I did not have to submit my SAT scores, I applied and was accepted to Salisbury University. But I still missed Eastern...

Salisbury is where I earned my degree. And I am glad. I am still thankful for the classes I took and the friends I made. I even kind of like that I ended up in the field of communications and conflict resolution.

I never would have made it through those classes without this girl...

I went to our campus crusade "chapels" at Salisbury more than I ever went to chapel at Eastern and cut my loans in more than half. Hallelujah! It really was a good experience. But I visited Eastern quite a bit- mostly because I missed Ben, but also because I just missed the place.

And sometimes I still miss Eastern. I don't know what it is. I was there for about four months but it is so nostalgic to me. I think Philadelphia is fun. I think Eastern's campus is just beautiful. I don't know, there is just something about that place. I don't often miss the industrial chicken town that is Salisbury, but that might have something to do with the horrors of thievery and breaking & entering that was our senior year... but that is a story for another day.

So, I will periodically ask Ben, "can we go to Philly this weekend?" and usually there is a reason why it doesn't make much sense. But, this past week, I proposed a trip to him again and he said "let's just do it". Our friend is still living there in the city and we wanted to visit him and I recruited a friend to come along with us as well.

And it is still a great place, I think.

Running up the "Rocky steps" is always a must...

All in all I am thankful for my college experiences. I might do it differently if I could do it all over- but I am glad I am not given that chance. I am glad I got to live on a hall full of girls and enjoy all there was at Eastern, even if only for four months. I am glad that I go to live with my aunt and uncle for a year and take some classes for dirt cheap. I am glad that I got to do the apartment thing with a bunch of great girls for two and a half years and I am glad I was the president of the conflict resolution club for a little while (yea, true story). I am glad that Ben continued his four years at Eastern and I am glad we got married after three and half years of two totally different college experiences. And I am glad I have a reason to visit Philadelphia and have a few small memories there.